We dogs know that after the Day of the Turkey, things can get a little crazy in the human world until the day of the new year when normalcy begins to return. Humans can get a little uptight, stressed, frantic or depressed during the holidays, so it is up to us to help them out.
The Christmas tree:
It is so thoughtful of humans to put a tree in the house and decorate it for the cats. I don’t know why it’s not called a Catmas tree. Last year Buckaroo tried herding the cats around the Christmas tree, causing one cat to climb it, which sent these little glass orbs crashing to the floor. Can I say the human was not pleased? Also the tree is not for emergency urination or for leaving a message to another dog in the household.
The wrapping paper:
Those long rolls of brightly colored paper are not for playing tug of war, or bashing another dog in the head with. Humans use this to cover the surprises in the boxes that they shriek over. Little children are especially good at shrieking when they rip open a wrapped gift. Do not panic, the child is not in danger. Most importantly: do not grab the toy that was in the box and run off with it, thinking you are saving the child. This causes wailing from the child at the decibel of a siren, and the adults will launch themselves like missiles off the couch to get the toy away from you.
There are lots of tasty yummy-things around during the holidays. I particularly like the little gobs of almond cookie batter that occasionally hit the floor, and the crumbs that fall from the human eating a gingerbread bar. Do not eat the dark cookies or the cookies with dark little chips in them; that is called shocklate and the humans call it that because if a dog eats it we will go into shock and it may be too late. I have heard tell of a black lab, who ate a box of shocklate covered cherries and then proceeded to have raging diarrhea all over the house. Humans really don’t like cleaning up diarrhea, particularly on their favorite carpets. It is a testament to that labrador’s sturdy GI tract that she was no worse for wear.
Thunderbear discovered eggnog due to his incredible balance standing on his hind legs with his front paws on the counter. He managed to knock over a carton of eggnog, which spilled to the floor, and which we all happily lapped up until the human walked in…it is best to avoid consuming eggnog as most humans add rum and cognac to it that make the humans very happy but we canines don’t hold our liquor well.
Don’t eat poinsettias, mistletoe, or holly no matter how hungry you are, or what the cats say. Of course you can rip a few leaves off the poinsettias and just leave them on the floor and blame it on the cats.
This is the big dog that brings dog toys and puts them under the tree or in a stocking that hangs from the fireplace mantle. The humans say Santa Paws gets driven around town by reindeer and he gets very hungry so they leave a plate of cookies for him. Do Not Eat the Cookies, or Santa Paws will leave medicine in your stocking instead of a marrow bone. Happy holidays!