In a tell-all confession, Kemosabe spills the beans on his own thievery of Optimum and other BioStar horse supplements…
It’s my human’s fault, really. She hadn’t sealed the lid properly. I cleverly removed the lid from the Optimum Senior JS bucket and had a little snack.
When she first started noticing the lid off the bucket she thought it was mice. She thought maybe the cats were getting too old to hunt. Thunderbear looked at me and whispered, “Sure… a big mouse named Kemosabe.”
I love to grab an Optimum snack in the barn. It’s a green powder with kale and blue-green algae, and I’m pretty sure it’s healthy for me. A couple of good licks of the powder and I’m ready to go. Sometimes I sneak back to the barn at night, and grab another lick…or two.
Of course I do get BioStar Optimum K9 cubes every day which are actually made for me. But there is something more fun about slipping the lid off a big tub of Optimum for the horses and eating as much as I want.
Tum-Ease is another favorite of mine. Thunderbear is my accomplice — he can stand up on his hind legs and pull the bag off the shelf. If the bag hasn’t been closed, we each eat a few bars. You can hardly blame us for wanting such a tasty snack; I blame my human for not sealing the bag! I don’t understand why the horses get these tasty bars with papaya and cabbage, and the micro-crystalized aloe that coats and soothes the GI tract, and we don’t get our own canine Tum-Ease. Maybe I need to have a chat with the boss.
Buckaroo loves Furnace. He sticks his whole head in the bag to get a snack. But then again, Buckaroo has never found a food he didn’t like. Furnace has a lot of ginger in it to help with circulation. I like the pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, and nutritional yeast, but ginger is not my favorite flavor, personally.
Crockett is not as sneaky as I am yet. When our human is busy filling water buckets, he just casually saunters over to the feed buckets filled with soaked food, and dines on an assortment of foods and supplements. Once, he had too many mouthfuls of Thera Calm EQ for the horses, and an hour later he was sacked out under a boxwood bush…at 8 am in the morning. Normally Crockett is excited about his morning chores: check the chickens, go on perimeter patrol with Thunderbear, check on the humans, report to me any recent scent tracings of fox, skunk, raccoon, or deer. Not that day. Since then, he has learned to sniff each bucket before deciding which one he will dine from.
He still loves Thera Calm K9, which is much better for his size, and loves it, as we all do. We get it during hunting season, as none of us like the sound of gunfire.
I’ll probably get into trouble for saying this, but stealing Optimum EQ and other BioStar equine supplements is our duty as intelligent, opportunistic, health-minded dogs. So don’t freak out when your dog breaks open the BioStar box left on your porch by FedEx, or if he steals Optimum, Tum Ease, or Furnace. Instead, recognize what an incredibly intelligent and health-conscious dog you have!